


JUMP

by Emm77



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Fluff, Humour, M/M, The Office AU, honestly I don't know what else to tag, if the fictional from the TV show or the real one from the band, so much so that for some parts I don't know which character inspired what, this is basically The Office meets One Direction
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-21
Updated: 2016-02-21
Packaged: 2018-05-22 08:01:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6071395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emm77/pseuds/Emm77
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis has been working for the Slough branch of Dunder-Mifflin for five years now and he <em>hates it</em>. His infatuation with Harry, the too beautiful (and too unavailable) receptionist, makes it easier to pass his boring days. It does help that the whole office is filled with a collection of clueless, histrionic and absurd characters to pull pranks on too...</p>
            </blockquote>





	JUMP

**Author's Note:**

> Hellooooo, so, this was a spur of the moment decision, like 'I want a The Office AU and I want it NOW'. So I simply started writing.  
> The first idea was to make it a one-shot, but, as per usual, it got away from me so... here I am. Multi-chaptered. Again.
> 
> This time, though, it won't be that long (it won't, I promise it won't). I'm aiming to four chapters+an epilogue, all of them around 5K, I think? I've got an outline, but I'm not going to let it rule me.
> 
> There are way more characters that would be lovely to include, but sadly, The Office US is too long of a show, with too many secondary characters to really do in a fic, it would be soooooo long. As I can't with myself and I refuse to make the boys American, there will be some The Office UK bits to fit better (for instance, it's the 'Slough branch' not the 'Scranton branch') but other than that, it's based on the American version.
> 
> This won't have much angst, those who have watched The Office know where the angst will be, as I will follow the general outline of the characters Louis&Harry take in this AU. I hope that, even though you kinda know the story already, you'll still like it.
> 
> If you haven't watched The Office:  
> 1\. Watch it.  
> 2\. It won't really affect your reading. You'll probably just think that I've got a flair for the dramatic and unnecessary comedy. I, personally, love it.

“Dunder-Mifflin, this is Harry. No, I'm sorry, Mr Horan is unavailable at the moment. Yes, I can take a message.”

As Harry starts typing down, holding the phone between his ear and shoulder, Louis sets his elbows on Harry's desk and his chin on his fists, making a show of blinking dreamily.

Of course that's enough to make Harry giggle, Louis has him down to a T, but Harry schools his voice clearing his throat. “Wait, wait, his _what_ will be arriving _where_?”

Harry sounds and looks exceptionally baffled, which isn't that weird when it comes to Niall-related shenanigans. Louis won't be deterred from his task of distracting him and making him laugh, though. He moves his head to be in Harry's line of sight and crosses his eyes, sticking his tongue out and up, as if attempting to touch his nose with it.

That has Harry pulling his lips between his teeth and widening his eyes, probably trying to wordlessly ask Louis to stop.

“So, you want to verify the address for the delivery of Mr Horan's _Miley Cyrus's leggings_? Did I hear you correctly?”

Louis lets out a snort, nothing surprises him when it comes to Niall anymore. He picks up a Biro and a piece of paper from Harry's desk and draws his best rendition of Niall in Miley Cyrus's leggings. Then he draws two ejaculating dicks next to Niall's head to make the picture pop a little more.

“Alright, so Mr Horan's leggings will be arriving tomorrow at 3 PM and the payment method is cash upon delivery?” Harry looks up from his monitor and mouths _‘weird’_ at Louis. Louis cocks his eyebrow and tilts his head, challenging.

This isn't even the weirdest thing that's happened _this week_. Louis would know, the absurdity of this office and his colleagues is the one thing preventing him from going mental with boredom. He always knew playing footie and singing weren't actual plausible career aspirations, but he never thought he'd still be a paper salesman at the age of twenty-six. It was supposed to be temporary.

Once he deems his work of art sufficiently finished, Louis lifts it and waves it a little in front of Harry's face. Harry barks a loud laugh that he attempts to hide with some coughs.

“Certainly, Miss. We'll be expecting your delivery man, thank you for calling,” he says, voice wavery with mirth. When he finally rings off he starts teetering uncontrollably, folding his arms over the edge of his desk and resting his forehead there.

Louis is thankful for that, because this way Harry can't see the horrible soft fond expression Louis knows has taken over his face. God, he's so fucking gone for Harry, making him laugh is like a gift from heaven. He'll devote as much time as necessary to it.

“You're such a tosser,” Harry says once he's calmed down, lifting his head and wiping his wet eyes. “That does look a lot like Niall, though. If he sees it he'll have it framed.”

“What can I say? I'm an artist. Though I was a bit confused about what Miley Cyrus's leggings were supposed to look like, so I took some liberties,” Louis says pensively. “I really hope it's just multiple faces of Miley with her tongue out.”

“Do you think he'll wear them to work? I kind of want him to give us a warning so I can get mentally prepared for the sight. Also, so I can bring my camera, my phone won't be enough.”

“Christ, no. Let's hope my drawing is the only actual representation we'll have of that.”

Harry laughs and shakes his head. “Okay, so, what's the plan, what do I need to do?”

God, Louis is so fucking predictable, Harry always sees right through him. He still decides to play dumb for a little while. “What are you talking about?”

“You're pranking Liam and you want my help, don't you? What do I need to do?”

 

***

 

Turns out Harry is _amazing_ at writing fake curriculums, Louis knew he'd make the right choice with him. Not that he would've picked anyone else if he'd thought Harry was bad. He's not going to fool himself with that, if half of the reason behind his constant pranks to Liam is boredom, the other half is being able to plot and scheme with Harry.

“Lou, can I ask you a question? Just out of curiosity, what made you choose _Alaska_?”

“I spun a globe and chose the random spot my finger wound up on. I had to do it three times, though. The first one landed in Middlesbrough and that's not far enough, the second one fell in the middle of the Pacific, which would've been perfect had I found a way to express _‘I'm aiming for a job in the centre of the ocean’_ in a believable way.”

Harry lets out a cackle, covering his mouth with his hand. “One of these days you'll have to explain me how you come up with these ideas. Anyway, it's done, should we add a picture of Liam too?”

“Hmmm,” Louis mutters thoughtfully. “Have you got one of the Christmas' party last year? And I mean one of him _after_ I spiked the lemonade with vodka and convinced him he was turning into a vampire.”

As a reply, Harry rolls his eyes and fishes his phone out of his slacks' pocket. He lights it up and hands it to Louis. “It's my lockscreen, _duh_.”

And sure enough, there he is, Liam Payne in all his vampire glory. His eyes are droopy from the alcohol, his face is pale and there are red vertical stripes next to the corners of his mouth (all thanks to Jesy's make-up and Louis successfully getting Liam to take a nap in the toilet to ‘sleep it off’). He's also wearing fake plastic fangs and a black cape, his hair slicked back with gel.

No one can accuse Louis of not planning his practical jokes thoroughly.

And Christ, Louis loves Harry so much for this. Not only had he helped with the original prank, but he's keeping the photographic results on his phone. Louis is sure they're soulmates in some alternate universe. One that doesn't hate him so much and allows him to be with the most beautiful boy in England.

“Ace, Hazza, you're brilliant!” Louis leans over Harry's desk and pinches his cheeks, earning a beam from Harry.

They put up Liam's fake CV in several websites and they also send it to particular companies, all located in Alaska. They don't even check what the companies are looking for in potential employees or what their businesses are about. The idea is for Liam to get as many calls and emails offering him jobs in Alaska as possible. Perhaps Louis will get lucky and Liam will _actually move_.

Now _that_ would be a dream.

 

***

 

Liam gets thirteen job offers, and Louis doesn't know whether to be ecstatic for the success of his prank or worried about Alaska's lack of standards when it comes to hiring people.

Of course by the third call Liam has caught on and is throwing daggers through his eyes towards Louis, who feigns innocence and actually does a bit of work. But although Liam is quite naïve, he's the furthest thing from stupid.

He elevates a formal complaint to Niall, who looks up from his yo-yo with furrowed brows and simply tells Liam that if he wants to move to Alaska, he should consider buying a thicker winter coat. Niall has been so enthralled with his yo-yo lately that he never understands what's going on around him. Not that he understood much before.

By the end of the day Louis is leaning against Harry's desk once again; they're both sniggering as Liam huffs over yet another job offer. Harry is completely cracking up, slapping his own knee and heaving with silent laughter; it's got Louis transfixed.

Naturally, because the universe, god or whomever _despises_ Louis, that's exactly when Aiden comes in.

Louis has come to terms with two facts since he started working at Dunder-Mifflin. One: his deep irrevocable love for Harry Styles is evident for anyone who's mildly paying attention. Two: it's the most fruitless infatuation ever, because Harry Styles is _engaged_ to Aiden Grimshaw.

Obviously, since Louis has worse luck than Wile E. Coyote, Aiden is part of the group of people who are clearly aware of Louis's impossible crush. Aiden works in Dunder-Mifflin's warehouse, so when his and Harry's schedules line up, he comes to the office to pick him up to go home.

Lately, every single time Aiden comes by, he goes out of his way to engage Harry in some type of public display of affection. Louis doesn't blame him, though. He'd be possessive too if his fiancé was Harry Styles and some weird guy at the office kept looking at him with moon eyes.

Today is no exception to the PDA rule, Aiden nods his head towards Louis in acknowledgement and grabs Harry by the chin, planting a wet kiss on his lips.

“Hi babe, ready to—”

The sound of something falling to the floor and shattering to pieces interrupts Aiden's greeting. Louis, as well as every other person in the office, cranes his neck following the noise.

They find Niall standing a couple of feet away from Harry's desk, his eyes are crazily wide and his jaw is dropped. His left hand is slack but still in the air, and there are several pieces of his ‘World's Best Boss’ mug scattered at his feet.

He quickly turns to Louis and pulls on his arm, ignoring all the weird looks everyone is shooting him.

“Harry is gay?!” he asks urgently. To his credit, it does sound like he tries to whisper, but he still fails, and it's likely even those in the cubicles in the far corners of the office have heard him.

“He's literally engaged to a man,” Glenne says, her expression is a mixture of incredulous and resigned. She shakes her head as she puts on her coat.

“What?!” Niall asks again, tugging on the cuff of Louis's button-up.

Harry holds his left hand up and picks up Aiden's with his right one, a tight smile on his face as he shows off their rings. Aiden doesn't appear to be amused by the situation at all.

“They've been engaged for like three years already,” Jesy mutters, getting up from her seat. She doesn't do it quietly enough, though, and Louis can see Harry wincing at the reminder of how many times they've put off the wedding.

“Not like I care much, but…” Zayn says, still sat at his desk. He cocks his head and crosses his arms on his chest. “What did you think was going on there? It's not like they're hiding it.”

“I thought they were really close friends with super cool shared jewellery! Who wouldn't want a friend like that?” Niall says extending his arms to his sides, palms up.

Louis raises his hand. “Alright, since we're all here revealing our very obvious sexualities, I'm gay too.”

Everyone laughs except Niall and Liam. Niall gasps and covers his mouth, Liam yawns.

“Have I got to confess it as well?” Nick says, his face decorated with a huge grin.

Niall almost snaps his neck to look at him. “No! You too? But we went out for drinks and you flirted with the waitress! Is anything real anymore?”

“Okay… This has been a very fun gathering,” Aiden's tone is annoyingly condescending, he puts a hand on Harry's shoulder and squeezes. “But it's almost half five, so I'm afraid Harry and I need to leave. Have you got your coat, babe?”

“Yeah, sorry. Um… Bye?” Harry says with a little wave, trailing behind Aiden and out of the office.

It's a bit unsettling, how little those scenes pain Louis nowadays. When Harry first told him about the engagement, it was like his heart was being ripped apart. But now he's so resigned that he just feels a small pang on his chest. Maybe one day it'll go away for good.

 

***

 

Louis decides to lay off pranking Liam the next day. Mostly because he's behind in sales this month, but also because he likes to keep Liam on his toes, attacking when he least expects it.

He manages to sweet talk some big clients, which annoys him to death, because he often finds himself wishing he was bad at his job. He knows he could excel at it, but he just doesn't care enough to make an effort. He's got no motivation, except perhaps Liam's miffed expression every time Louis surpases him on monthly sales without even trying.

After his lunch break, he finds a mistake in one of their new clients' data and he's got no choice but to consult it with Niall. Usually Louis avoids discussing work-related stuff with Niall, not because he doesn't like his boss, but because most of the time it's useless.

Louis's got no clue how Niall got the Regional Manager job in the first place, he's certainly not a person Louis would put in any sort of position of power. His mind is scattered all over the place, he's the worst when it comes to work ethic and he's clueless to the most obvious social cues, which puts him in very uncomfortable situations.

But Louis toughs it up, printing the form with the mistake and knocking on Niall's office door. Of course there's no reply, even though he can see Niall's sat at his desk through the glass walls. Louis rolls his eyes and knocks again. This time Niall sighs so loudly the sound travels through the door, before muttering a very sad “come in.”

Niall is staring at a seemingly random spot on the floor, a small frown on his face. He's got his ‘World's Best Boss’ mug in his left hand, although Louis distinctly remembers seeing it break yesterday. Perhaps Niall owns countless ‘World's Best Boss’ mugs. It wouldn't be that strange, after all he _did_ buy the mug for himself in the first place. Buying several of them just in case sounds like a very Niall thing to do.

Another deep suffering sigh pulls Louis out of his reverie. Niall is in such a catatonic state, Louis knows he'll be no help whatsoever.

“Niall, hey, mate. What's going on?” he asks, keeping his voice gentle. He takes a seat in the empty chair in front of Niall's desk.

Niall just blinks, finally making eye contact. He shrugs a shoulder and takes a sip of his tea. “What's the point?” he says, shaking his head a little. “What's the point of anything if I don't know my own children?”

Out of all the ludicrous replies Louis's endured from Niall in the past five years, this has got to be one of the strangest ones.

Before he can say anything, Niall continues, “We're supposed to be a family, all of us. Dunder-Mifflin Slough is supposed to be a family and yet… And it's my fault, it's on me. I'm the father figure and I've failed you.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Three of my children are gay Louis! Three of my children are gay, one of them is engaged, and I had no idea! What kind of father am I?” Niall sets his mug on the desk and hides his face in his hands.

Louis evaluates his options. He could make fun of Niall, which would fall flat because nine out of ten times Niall doesn't realise when people take the piss out of him. He could explain to Niall that most of his employees are older than him, and therefore don't think of him as a father figure in the slightest. Or he could play along and reassure him, ask his bloody question and move on with his day.

He gets up, rounds the desk and kneels beside Niall, patting his back in a comforting way. “Listen, it's okay. It's not a big deal, alright? You're the boss, you're busy with other things. You've got twice the amount of responsibilities than the rest of us, it's understandable.”

It's really not, Niall does fuck all around the office. Last week he spent a whole day building a fort under his desk. Louis won't point that out, though, he actually needs Niall's help right now.

“No, I know that, I know that. But still, _everybody_ else knew.” Niall lifts his head and swivels his chair to face Louis. He claps Louis's shoulder, and breathes loudly through his nose. “I'm sorry for not knowing you like cock, Tomlinson. I'm so sorry. Don't make excuses for me. I heard Jesy when she said my gaydar was obviously broken. I don't even own a gaydar! Should I buy one? Is it like on eBay?”

“Yes.” Louis doesn't even think about correcting Niall. This is the most perfect opportunity for a prank since that time he managed to make Liam believe he was being recruited by the MI6. “Yes, you can buy a gaydar on eBay, in fact, I'll send you a link to a great offer I saw yesterday.”

“Ah,” Niall sighs in relief. “Really? You'd do that? God, Louis, you're such an amazing friend!” He drops on the floor, kneeling next to Louis and throwing his arms around his shoulders. He abruptly pulls back then, patting Louis's chest and giving him a closed-lipped grin. “Now get back to work, and send me that link.” He gets up and takes his seat back, immediately opening a drawer on his desk and picking up his yo-yo.

“But—”

“Louis, you're my son, and you're my friend, maybe even my best friend, but you're also my employee. Go back to work, my child.”

Louis sometimes wishes his whole life was being filmed for a documentary, just so he could stare at the camera with disbelief. But alas, he shakes his head and walks out of Niall's office, back to his desk.

“Were you trying to steal my Assistant Regional Manager position again, Tomlinson?” Liam asks, raising a brow.

One of the most challenging things about Louis's job is sharing a cubicle and having adjacents desks with Liam. Although the easy access does help when executing his antics.

“For the seventh time this week, Liam, your position is Assistant _to_ the Regional Manager. You're exactly the same as me, except you've got to fetch Niall's tea.”

Liam mutters “I also get vouchers” and Louis stifles a laugh as he starts preparing his gaydar post on eBay. It's not his fault that Niall dismissed him before he could ask his question so he could continue with his actual work.

Talking to Harry about the endless scenarios in which he could put to put to use the gaydar joke entertains him for the rest of the day.

 

***

 

The ‘gaydar’ arrives on Friday, Louis had bought a fancy looking metal detector, done some minor twitches to it with a sharpie and posed as a seller from Barnsley. He gets to the office half an hour before his shift starts and places the package on Niall's desk.

He also actively tries not to think much about the amount of dedication he puts behind his pranks.

Since Louis is an idiot in love, he couldn't help filling Harry in on every single detail of gaydargate, so he throws him a knowing smile across the office as soon as Niall walks in.

Niall immediately wants to test his gaydar to ‘get acquainted with it’. He first tries it on Louis, who chose to wear a belt today, anticipating this would happen.

It beeps, of course, and Niall claps happily at the fact that his new toy functions properly. To ensure the ‘gaydar’ would work on Niall and Liam, and thus, mess with them even further, Louis preemptively gifted both of them shiny metal name tags. It's a wonder how, after five years of working together, these two men still trust Louis with literally anything, but they both put the tags on anyway.

“You know, you should try that gaydar on yourself, Niall,” Harry says a few hours later, when Niall comes by his desk to collect his messages.

Niall chuckles softly, waving a dismissive hand. “Why would I do that? I get all my loving from—” He stops himself abruptly with a wide-eyed expression. “You know what? You're absolutely right, Harry. I _will_ test it on myself. What a brilliant idea.”

As Niall walks back towards his office, presumably to get the gaydar, Harry makes eye contact with Louis from a distance and gives him a thumbs up.

God, Louis wants to film the whole thing.

Niall comes back a few seconds later and aims the gaydar starting with his feet, he cackles when it doesn't beep. “See? This object is so in awe of how straight I am,” he starts saying, as he lifts the gaydar up his body. “It simply won't—” the loud beep of the gaydar interrupts him. His face is so comically shocked; Louis wants to take a picture and frame it.

“I— No, this isn't…” Niall continues to run the gaydar up and down his body, and sure enough, it continues to beep. “Jade, come here!”

With a deep annoyed sigh, Jade gets up from her desk and walks towards where Niall is stood. She used to put up more of a fight before, but it seems like she's worn out lately. “What do you want, Niall?”

“Just come here, this is important,” Niall says, pulling on her arm and getting her to stand beside him. He then tries the gaydar on Jade, but the device makes no noise at all. He runs it several times, Jade's face hardens with every passing second, but Niall pays no mind to it. “Unbelievable,” he murmurs confused.

“Well, Niall,” Louis quips, trying to hide his amusement. “Guess that's it, you're gay! Welcome aboard, mate!”

Niall makes a pained sound. “But I don't think that I— Ugh.” He shoves the gaydar on Liam's lap and hurries to Louis's side, grabbing his head with both hands. “I've always considered you quite attractive, Tomlinson. Let's test it out.”

Before Louis can even think of protesting, Niall is kissing him full on the lips. Louis doesn't get to stop it, yell or run away because a loud “Niall!” interrupts them.

They both crane their necks to look at the new voice at the same time, Niall is still cupping Louis's face.

And yes, the universe _does_ hate Louis, because standing at the office's entrance is _Gemma Cox_ , aka Niall's supervisor.

“Bab— Gemma!” Niall says nervously. “Hi!”

“May I ask what exactly is going on here?” Gemma asks, sparing a glance at Louis in between her threatening glares at Niall. “Were you _kissing your employee_ , Niall? Do you have any idea how unprofessional that is?” She puts her palm up and closes her eyes in annoyance. “You know what? No. Come with me, we'll speak privately.” She doesn't wait for him to reply anything, pushing him inside his office and slamming the door behind herself.

Louis is still a bit dazed when he hears Liam say something he can't quite register. Before he can even blink, Liam's lips are on his own.

“What the fuck, man?!” Louis says, finally stunned into a reaction, pushing Liam away. “What is wrong with you?”

“I tried the gaydar on myself too and it beeped. Since you were offering your lips to test its effectiveness I thought I might as well try,” Liam says, as if that was an actual, reasonable train of thought  “Conclusion: either this gaydar is faulty or you're a bad unattractive kisser. I rather kiss a beet than you.” With that, he goes back to his desk and starts typing on his computer.

Harry's loud guffaw of a laugh catches Louis's attention, then.

“Ha-ha Styles, so funny,” Louis deadpans, pouting. “I'll have you know this is the most action I've had in months. My life is amazing.”

That only makes Harry crack up even further, probably thinking that Louis is taking the mick. Louis won't tell him that, sadly, he's not. It isn't like he can't get a date, he knows he's attractive enough. But a certain tall, handsome green-eyed receptionist has been roaming his mind _so_ much lately, he can't even bring himself to try to pull.

Louis shakes himself out of his stupor and goes back to his desk. He cracks his back and rolls his shoulders, accidentally making eye contact with Perrie across the office. She gives him a warm knowing smile, nodding her head in Harry's direction subtly.

He doesn't know what to say, no one has ever called him on his infatuation so blatantly before. So he just shrugs and purses his lips, resigned to his fate. There's still another hour of the day to go.


End file.
